A new place...

So I found myself in an interesting place this morning...I was tired, and the first thing I thought when I woke up was...Hmmm...I don't have to go to church today, I could just sleep in...and that was a scary realization...not because I am no longer a member of a specific church...but because my thoughts were confirmed...at some point during my journey, I transitioned from a fire for God to an obligation to the church...a very dangerous thing for me...I've been very impressionable over the last several years because I was looking for someone to guide me, give me direction...and instead of growing closer to God, and filling the void of family, parents, love...I got very disappointing relationships that weren't healthy for me, and pushed me further from Him. So here I am...trying to find that again...I know the word, I know what he asks of me...I LOVE HIM...I love the Lord...He's been so good...but the excitedness...that excitement over being in His house is gone right now...doesn't make me any less saved...but it will make for an interesting journey because I intend to find it...I love God...can't wait to discover Him anew!!!!!!!