Wednesday, June 3, 2009

You are my passion...

So...I love to sing...right? I don't know anymore ya'll...I know I'm only 24, but I've spent majority of my life so far trying to sing...and I think I missed a turn somewhere. I truly believe that I did...I love to sing, but I gotta find what I used to love about it...because I've been feeling like...I'm cool on it...I enjoy singing background, and am a bottle of nerves when I'm solo...that is just not the way it used to be. I used to really be excited, and I just don't feel that way anymore...my desire when I sing is to really help someone understand the meaning of what I'm saying, but I don't have the confidence in front of people anymore to convey the emotion I feel. I BLOW at home, alllllll the time, I practice, and it doesn't comes out on stage, and I'm just a little frustrated with that...I will just have to continue to pray and work it out. But more than once I've wanted to just stop. But in my heart I truly want to continue. So I have, but I don't know if I'm adding anything to the various ministries I'm a part of...we shall see.

I also have discovered many desires other than singing!!! I love it, I have discovered so much passion inside myself for many things, I look forward to continuing to discover new things!!! I am SO excited about my magazine, it's not finished, and we have quite a way to go, but I really believe God that it will flourish.

Hmmm...and again...I am on this journey, trying to find my place in Christ, trying to follow Him as best I can, I am having a very hard time because I'm stressed about trying to find a church home, and it's really been a struggle for me. I am having to rely on just me and the Lord on this one, and it hasn't been that way for me for a while. I will talk more later.

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