Since I can't access blogger during the day, when I have a thought I draft an email, and I've been lazy about posting them...this one is from March, don't judge me.
This morning my spirit is tranquil. I feel alright. I had someone reach out to me after my last blog, and I look forward to the conversation. I am attempting to blog daily so that I can look back and be able to see how my emotions and thoughts and things come together. I went to rehearsal yesterday, and I slept last night, got up this morning feeling ok. I notice that one thing I need to release is my obsession with the material. Not that I'm materialistic per se...it's more of a...feeling as though I have to keep up. But not in the traditional sense so to speak. See, when I was younger, I was always the one that couldn't. I couldn't go visit a friend, I couldn't go play outside, and as I got older, I couldn't go out to eat, or go on this trip, or whatever it was. As I got older I was all about immediate gratification of my desires because I often (can't say never) couldn't do what I wanted to. As a result, I still made myself the one that couldn't...and even now, with long term goals in mind, I have a hard time thinking "save, don't buy everything you want right now". I'm the kind of person who doesn't care much about the long term...but I care about the long term...feel me? So now, like RIGHT NOW, I feel a boost in my mood. My garnishment is over! TMI? Too bad. I was living off a fraction of my pay and it was driving me nuts...because I couldn't shop, go eat, or anything...but you bet I did it anyway. SMH. I'm going to learn though. The boyfriend said I should put the amount that I was being garnished aside still...good idea right? YES, it IS a great idea, now I just have to implement it.
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