The state of the music game...

so...props to Lady Blogga on her recent blog about the BET awards...I haven't really given too much thought to the state of music overall, because my natural reaction to the lack of quality music out there today is to retreat into the solace of the tunes of yesteryear. But, LB's (yes, lol, LB) candid description of the award show led me to another thought! Right now, YES, we have GREAT musicians out there that do it for the love, and they actually have talent that is worth promoting, and we know some of them, Eric Roberson, Dwele, Jason Mraz, of course, India Aire, John Legend, Jill, on the rap side we got Lil Brother, Jay Z, Mos, the Roots, and all them good folks...but who's gettin the shine? Who has captured the hearts and wallets of the current generation, who ultimately decides in which direction our music is going? These cracker jack acts, that's who. And no, it's not all about the shine, the recognition, but how long before these real artists are totally phased out? Or one by one just get tired and overwhelmed with the influx of crappy singers, played out hooks and songs where the only half good thing is the beat? What do we do then? I realized today that as a singer, and yes, I'm a singer, I've been singing more years now than I haven't, and I can actually sing, I ain't Keyshia Cole-in it...but as a singer, and knowing the musicians and singers that I know, and having the love of music so deeply ingrained, I just realized that I haven't been hard enough on the music industry, on music period. I mean, they are mass-producing singers and rappers and right now, all you gotta be is mildly attractive to be a singer, no vocals, no nothing, and I don't think it's fair or right. Truth is, Ciara can't sing. No, she can't for real, but I guess that depends on your definition of singing. She has a couple songs where she does a little more than the average run or whatever, but overall...this chick is a dancer, and a ridiculously provocative one at that. Truth is, it's ALL about sex appeal, and that's a whole other blog in itself, but Keyshia sucks...SUCKS, her story is nice, her voice is crap. This chick had the NERVE to feature Monica on a track, who had to downplay her vocal ability to make Keyshia sound half normal...is that what we have to look forward to? Can you imagine when high schoolers get old, and they say, "Aw yeah, man, dat dere Goodies joint from back in the day? Yeah, THAT was real music." GTFOH.
Now rap? *sigh* I love bass like the next person, and a good beat is always what's up, but it seems like that's all the criteria for you to be a rapper right now. And not only that, but Jay is right, why are all the rappers singing? I have been guilty of letting the beat, that instinctively makes me want to shake my behind get to me, but no more...or at least less more, lmao. But these songs are terrible at best, and who right now has staying power? Huh? No one, that's who. Blog ya lata...

eh...felt like I'd post music from someone great

I am SO my hair...lol

So, I've said that I would chronicle my journey to natural, and locs...well...ladies and gentleman, I LOVE it. At first, I was so apprehensive, because my self esteem hasn't always been where it should be...but I feel GOOD ya'll...my hair is beautiful, it's growing, it's healthy! I didn't even realize my hair wasn't coarse or really crazy looking until I went natural...it's beautiful! My hair is thick, and it makes me feel so much more...black...lol, it really does, I feel such a pride in myself, it's indescribable...I wouldn't do anything else, and wish I would have done it sooner. And, I'm not single, but I will say this...the compliments you get are SO much better! Because it's like...people really MEAN it when they compliment a natural woman, not that folks didn't mean it before, but truth is, not all men like or think natural is attractive, and I've just gotten some of the nicest compliments lately, it helps! LOL, but for you ladies that are hesitant or who already are natural and feeling a little bit unattractive and nervous? LET IT GO, it will pass, it's a BEAUTIFUL thing, and once you realize it, you carry yourself different, you look radiant...that's the first thing someone said to me...I look so good and so happy, and I was like...yeah. I am.

Transitions, transitions...

I am in a transitional period, and I'm ok, and not so ok with it...because on one hand, I am and will continue to discover so much about me, but on the other hand, everything is so up in the air for me. I have no idea what's next, I know what I want to be doing, and so I'm working hard to get there, but we'll see. I lately have been feeling like blogging or being on my FaceBook is dangerous because so many people have gotten in trouble regarding these kinds of things...ridiculous I say! LOL, but really I have things I want to do and places I really want to go. I am trying so hard right now to get on track, I feel like everything in my life has changed. A lot of people don't understand that 6 months ago I walked away from my LIFE...and so I've felt a little lost. I had no idea what I was doing, what I should be doing and what I believed in anymore...and so I've been a little on edge, and a little frustrated, a little scared, and a little crazy...IONO YA'LL, lol...I just want to be happy...that's what I'm fighting for right now...ME...I don't feel like my life has been about me at all for all these years. So that's what's next.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Alright, now maybe I'm not the right young woman to bring this subject up...but I simply have a problem with the way some older women speak to younger women. Now I'm not talking about kids, I'm talking about, we're both grown, you just old. Anyway, I have had certain situations arise where an older woman I felt like should have gotten a mouth shot, because she feels like because she's old enough to be, she is everyone on earth's mother, feel me? But I am a firm believer that if we're both grown and I feel like you're jumping slick, oh I'm going to call you on that crap. Now let me explain where I'm coming from before you all get to thinking I'm some disrespectful little trollup. Now my mother passed away when I was a little girl and most of you know that. I was raised from there by men. First my daddy, who passed not too long after, and then my uncle. Now, I don't have this problem with men, and that's because they are constantly trying to crowd you with a bunch of nonsense, but that's another topic altogether. But with older women, I feel like this...I been on my own for a long time. I don't know everything, but I know enough. You aren't my mother, please don't come at me that way. Why can't an older woman be respectful to a younger one? Why we gotta bow down to ya'll all the time? What makes ya'll that special? Feel me? Us young women are on our own tryin to make it like you may have back in the day, why we gotta be disrespected or slighted and then be expected to be respectful? Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, but I truly live by you gotta give it to get it...so sorry in advance to anyone who feels like they need to come silly and then I kinda let you know a lil sumthin and I'm the bad guy...but for real, learn to respect and you'll get it...if no one feels me on it, it's cool, but to me, older doesn't mean I have to grovel or bend over backwards...so what? I am very respectful btw to most, but all of us have had that run in with the older chick who just get to yappin at you, and she talkin like she feels like she's entitled to instruct your life...getthefreakouttaherewiththat. Lol...Miss me with the dumbness.

You are my passion...

So...I love to sing...right? I don't know anymore ya'll...I know I'm only 24, but I've spent majority of my life so far trying to sing...and I think I missed a turn somewhere. I truly believe that I did...I love to sing, but I gotta find what I used to love about it...because I've been feeling like...I'm cool on it...I enjoy singing background, and am a bottle of nerves when I'm solo...that is just not the way it used to be. I used to really be excited, and I just don't feel that way anymore...my desire when I sing is to really help someone understand the meaning of what I'm saying, but I don't have the confidence in front of people anymore to convey the emotion I feel. I BLOW at home, alllllll the time, I practice, and it doesn't comes out on stage, and I'm just a little frustrated with that...I will just have to continue to pray and work it out. But more than once I've wanted to just stop. But in my heart I truly want to continue. So I have, but I don't know if I'm adding anything to the various ministries I'm a part of...we shall see.

I also have discovered many desires other than singing!!! I love it, I have discovered so much passion inside myself for many things, I look forward to continuing to discover new things!!! I am SO excited about my magazine, it's not finished, and we have quite a way to go, but I really believe God that it will flourish.

Hmmm...and again...I am on this journey, trying to find my place in Christ, trying to follow Him as best I can, I am having a very hard time because I'm stressed about trying to find a church home, and it's really been a struggle for me. I am having to rely on just me and the Lord on this one, and it hasn't been that way for me for a while. I will talk more later.