So...

I feel so many different things! I am really very excited, impatient, and Lord...I don't know what else! I really feel like I'm going to make a bit of a difference in people's lives with the magazine I'm working on, with the help of my partner/love of my life, lol...I just can't believe I'm doing something like this!!!! I am fighting every day mentally to be thankful for my current situation...it's often so hard to be grateful for the frustrating things in life when we have so many things to look forward to! I am experiencing...a myriad of emotions daily, so many things going on in my life...lately I've been wanting to just stop everything, in an attempt to just get a grip! I'm also trying to do better with the relationships around me! I feel like I am somewhat selfish, and that I'm not considerate enough of my friends...I'm very self absorbed, and because I want to get past like...every major trauma in my life, I want to get out of that! Admittedly, a certain part of me feels like SOMETHING in my life ought to be easy, or easiER, but it's just not, you know? I fall in love, the man's forever and a day away, lol, I find what I want to do with myself, and heck, I don't have much time to put into it because I'm working ALL THE TIME...but I can't help but thank God for just remaining faithful to me, because I've not been the same, and He's kept me, truly kept me, because there have been times I've felt out of my mind...you ever REALLY experienced that? It's very scary, I know that much...oh but with His help, prayer and wonderful people around me, I am growing, growing...O there are just so many things I want to be doing right now...