I don't have any patience. I am learning more and more each day how to deal with the things around me that I don't like. I have developed this sense that if I din't like it, it has to go. Period. Well, too bad the rest of the world doesn't think so. So I realized that I spend majority of my time attenpting to rid myself of the silliness around me, to no avail. I am allowing this to affect my day, which is not only crazy, but unhealthy. I HAVE to learn how to control my anger and irritation, otherwise I could be setting myself up for tomething I don't want. HOWEVER...there is some stuff that is just flippin ridiculous out there...I can't take it.

I'm taking this class on Western Religion...well my problem with people who don't practice any kind of faith, they always got something crazy to say about those that do. Well, I'm a Christian, and I believe certain things, but they're my beliefs. Given the opportunity, I will share them with you. If not...hopefully you will have noticed what I am anyway.

There are various other ways I'm feeling, but they don't need to be on here...love and don't be stupid. Bye.

Oh...

So I'm thinking, a friend of mine told me today that the thing he likes about me is my consistency, and that he always knows what he's going to get with me. Now, some may argue and say I am sometimey, and don't always want to speak or whatever, but that has more to do with my moody personality and nothing to do with you, and even in that, I'm consistent:O) But here's what I thought about today...I've not always been consistent, I've spent majority of my life trying to adapt to the desires of others for me, and I've always tried to adopt the admirable qualities in others that I saw, because I've always been so different, and people have always pointed that out, and it doesn't always feel good. And I don't know what happened, all of a sudden I got tired, tired of trying to be someone I wasn't...and now I'm me. Less inhibited, lol. I would say UNinhibited, but uh, there's not a person on this earth that is truly that. But I am myself, and you can deal or not, makes me no never mind. But you will always know where you stand with me, because if I don't like you, I will NOT smile in your face, and act like I do. If I love you, you'll know it, trust me. As a result, I've become a more consistent person, and I like that. I too, have come to expect certain things from others in this regard, being that they need to be consistent, but I've found that MOST people just aren't, and it's very sad. Try to add some consistency to your behavior.

I'm sleepy, and I love Reggie. yeah.

Whoooo...

Ok, so I've had this enlightened moment...and I realized that I'm personally done with this area...ya'll know where I'm at, lol...so NOW, at this point, I'm only here until God sees fit to provide me with the much awaited opportunity to be elsewhere. I find myself engulfed in a myriad of emotions, and I fight not to be overwhelmed daily...the bible talks about that kind of thing...I must look it up.

I also find myself wanting to sing again, that is all.

Within my walk with God, I have struggles, and I am well aware of my shortcomings, but to God, my shortcomings are a whole other matter, without total faith I cannot please Him, therefore I will have to become more spiritually disciplined...I will walk you through this journey.

MY HAIR!!! I'm trying to be patient, I have a girlfriend who said it took her hair a year to lock...I love being natural though, and the end result will be WELL worth it.

Weight loss...I've lost 5 lbs...many more to go.

Relationship...nunya business, lol, like I haven't written WHOLE blogs about this man...but I'm not ashamed of my relationship, or the love that we share...even if we broke up, I would still be very proud of the beautiful time we have shared...that's my baby, and thoughts of him bring secret smiles...

Uh...my friendships are vastly improving! Who would have thought? Ok...I'm done...

Salutations...

Some things are hard to say...

but need to be said, even when you're talking to yourself. You know, insecurity in a woman can be a very bad thing, it makes us act very irrationally sometimes. As a woman with certain insecurities, I can definitely vouch for that. I am a very emotional person, and most of my emotions you can read straight from my face. I also can feel when something is bothering me, within my whole body, it's ridiculous. As I'm feeling more and more tired by the moment, I will discontinue this blog, lol...goodnight...

Hello good people...

Dear Diary...lol...that's kind of how this feels sometimes...I'm feeling a little turbulence right now... I FINALLY feel that connection I've been waiting for, that pull and desire...not as strong as it was or is gonna be, but it's there, and encouraging...but like I said, I yet feel some turbulence. I am beginning to wonder about the things people say sometimes...you know, whenever you're pushing toward something, or making a decision, if something happens in the midst or something goes wrong, you're told it will all get better, or it just must not be for your good or some other such typical response...what if, however, none of that is true? Sometimes, things just happen. Sometimes I think we contradict ourselves...

Anyway, I'm sure someone, or all ya'll have no idea what I was talking about up there, that's ok, it was for me kinda anyway, lol.