A desire to inspire...

That is so corny, lol... But seriously, as I've transitioned from processing my life and it's events to wanting to utilize that process to help others. The one thing that I think I consistently felt is alienated and alone, like no one cared about the things that affected me so heavily. One thing I learned is that perception is everything. When we see something one way, someone else sees it and are affected by it differently. The things that I encountered have all gotten me where I am today. From my mother's death to my father's drug use and neglect, to my misguided view of the purpose of God and the church, to friendships and relationships...it's been lesson after lesson, after lesson. You experience this period of wanting payback, wanting answers, feeling pity for yourself, feeling anger at everyone else, to wanting to find anyone who had been through ANYTHING like what I've been through and try my best to help them deal with all the emotions these types of things can cause. There are girls who grew up without mothers or fathers, or both like me, who struggle with that loss, girls who have been molested, or abused, or made fun of...I've been all of those things. I have been abandoned, not cared for, not nurtured, and I am blessed beyond measure to be a high school graduate, working on a degree, making a very decent wage in a very hard economy. I am not a drug addict, I did not have children early, I am functional, successful and a testimony. For all of the things that contributed to my near nervous breakdown not tooooo far back, I feel SO MUCH MORE AMAZING to be able to look at all that I've walked through and be able to see it without so much hurt, anger and bitterness. The one attitude I had to get over was feeling like someone needed to take care of me, because I didn't and never had anyone to. There's nothing wrong with the feeling, because the fact is that every child deserves to be raised and loved by people who want to raise children, whether they're related to the child or not. Every child deserves to be loved, to know that regardless of the decisions of those around them they are valuable, to have someone take interest in their life and their path, to guide them. I want to provide support for as many youth as I possibly can as someone who has repeatedly been subjected to trauma after trauma, obstacle after obstacle, disaster after disaster. You too can come out better, bigger than anyone would ever imagine!!!