New things...

So I've been going to church. And to be exact, I've been going to my old church, lol. It's a nerve thing with me sometimes, as I left for a reason, but I never realized how far acknowledgement and apologies go. Now I have not been going to church for quite some time now, and I really had no interest in going back. I was totally content NOT going actually, but I was open when it appeared it was time to return. And it's different because I've learned so much in the mean time, and am able to take in what is for me and leave what is not. So often I would take everything that was said in church as gospel, and I took it all so seriously. I was just a bit...well maybe a whole lot naive. But I'm adjusting and in my prayers I talk to God about how different I am. I need help in the area of faith, because I constantly question what is truth. It's hard being a Christian when so many people just follow so blindly. I'm not going to be able to do it. The crazy part guys is that I don't know that I believe fully myself all the time. BUT what I do believe is what I've seen/heard over the years. I definitely have a place in ministry, but I promise I feel like a mix between Peter and Thomas. I need to get to a comfortable, clear place. I think I'll go for a walk now.