Brief reflection

I said I would be more transparent so that folks could see the hills and valleys of my journey. Today I just so happen to be a bit frustrated because I am at this point where I'm literally fighting to maintain peace while working to overhaul my habits, my thinking, my approach, my life. Trying to maintain that balance, you know? Every now and then I still get overwhelmed by thoughts of my past but only because I struggle in my present. I take responsibility for my choices but I can't help but feel like I was SET UP. I was never given a CHANCE to be well and to make good decisions. Even at THIS age I still have to deal with things that are a product of the past. So it's like...dang can I get a moment please? A brief reprieve? And then I've expressed it...and the feeling fades until next time...

Restructuring and overhaul...

I will now use this blog as my primary communication when I have messages about anything related to mental health, trauma and my experiences overall. I started to remove all the previous content but I think it is important that you be able to see authentic ebbs and flows of my journey. A lot of them are personal, some of them reflect so much hurt and brokenness, and I am okay with that! I want more people to see and be able to understand that they are not alone in the weight that they feel and the pressure that they are burdened by. That being said, let's hop right in it! This book writing journey has been quite an experience for me! I feel like I have always kind of walked my own path and done my own thing, but tackling all of these EMOTIONS was just well beyond anything that I wanted to ever do. I am sure some people would say that based on my attitudes and behaviors over time that it was evident that something was going on, yet I still was able to go through life pretty much hiding the depth of the things that I had experienced. I think one thing that is scary is the factor of disbelief. While there are some people who like attention and will pretty much do or say whatever to get it, when it comes to trauma and the subjects of molestation, abuse, neglect and rape I think that it is important we learn to listen and allow someone to feel safe sharing what is likely a very scary and private, vulnerable moment. A major reason why people keep silent when they have experienced trauma is they feel like they are at fault, or as though they did something to deserve what happened. Often when children or youth speak up about things they have gone through they are encouraged to bury it and to move along because everyone goes through things. This is not the way. Suppressing these things only leads to bigger and worse issues down the line. I think it is imperative that we stop dismissing the fact that emotional issues ARE ISSUES. Feelings are not something to just get over, they have to be acknowledged, processed and dealt with.